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Syria war: father and daughter living in battle zone turn sound of bombs into a game

Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging. If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods.

These two have been round my ankles all day, literally. I've been walking around as if there's broken glass on the floor to avoid stepping on them no one wants to hear that cry you get when you accidentally tread on a small hand that's not where it should be - that's the point when you give yourself the 'shittest parent of the day' award.

At least they do a good job of cleaning the floors, I should put Polish down and strap a rag to their stomachs.

Might as well get them to pull their weight from an early age. FYI the tiles are from best tile UK. Encaustic Moroccan cement tiles.

The wonders of modern technology. Why, oh why did I give my eldest an ipod touch? Yes, its great to stay in contact while im away but my inbox is now full of emoji based spam from my bored daughter.

The emoji poo is a firm favourite. Today while in meetings, I convinced her that because I'm 8 hours ahead of her I.

Took her a while to figure out that wasn't actually the case, made me laugh though! Why does bathtime always involve cramming as many family members into one of the smallest rooms in the house at the same time?

I guess the eldest 2 like it as it's like a cheap version of the sea life centre. They get to watch these weird pink slippery things splash about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges.

Clemmie and I are there just play life guards and crowd control. I should charge admission. Actually, forget it - Health and safety would definitely shut us done.

Last night - "Oh daddy, remember to make our woodland themed costumes for school tomorrow! They were woodland fairies FYI.

That's a pretty clever and creative idea, using wire hangers and plastic film to make wings. You're an awesome dad. What do you get if you cross claires accessories with 4 girls, 2 of whom who have just drank a coke, and a tired dad?

There's just too many of them, you get one and the other sods off to hide in the hair bands - I can hear the giggling, I just can't see them through the haze of pink and sparkles.

At least i found the tiara i was after. I look Bangin'! I remember my husband getting his hair and nails done by our girls.

And we only have two!!!! Another monday, another last minute rush to the shops to avoid the armageddon I.

I basically live in this aisle of the supermarket now. New parents seem to gravitate to me as an "experienced parent" i. I used to use my brain to solve global corporate wide problems.

I now use it to calculate bulk buy discounts. Reading at bed time can be a pain in the ass, especially when you've got 'important' adult things to do, but that's no excuse to not to do funny voices for the characters in the story.

But what if you didn't do them? They may lose interest and decide books are boring. They may not read much as they grow up, leaving them intellectually and culturally stunted.

They might jack in school and start hanging with the wrong crowd. They may end up in a dead-end job they hate and drink too much.

They may get evicted from their 1 bed squat and end up living under a bridge, sniffing stolen marker pens with a guy called crazy bob who eats pigeons.

Day 2 since the clocks changed and the girls are still not adjusted anyone else struggling with this?! So at 6.

Morning voices seem not to exist in our house. Clever woman. The other pictures looked somewhat sugarcoated The house looked too perfect, but this, with all the mess, the clothes laying around This is the real thing.

I seem to forget to feed myself sometimes. I can get to 5pm and realise I've had nothing other than a cup of tea that's been microwaved 5 times and has a skin on it that's thicker than I feel after watching a documentary of dark matter.

The twins, on the other hand, get 3 square meals a day spooned directly into their mouths. They have absolutely zero loyalty or compassion for me.

The look of the one in the back:"What's the weird guy doing with my spoon? Leave it alone and feed me NOW! After dressing the twins as pink fisherman and managing to navigate passed the people selling flashing swords and whirling things without parting with money, we celebrated bonfire night in style.

It was all worth it to see the twins faces when the fireworks started. Fun night out in Crystal palace. What's life if you can't make a mess and have fun doing it now and again.

Beer time Ottie's teething has made her as clingy as a winter cold and she refuses to be put down on the floor at the moment, so I'm doing everything with a 9 month old surgically grafted onto my chest.

This includes baking with mixed success - Her feet were just at the right height to kick the butter, the flour and my manhood, several times.

I find it almost impossible not to take over and mix things properly but i must let them make a complete hash of it, so they learn too.

I'm sure the cookies will taste fine and we can just pick out the egg shell. I'm also almost certain that no snot made it into the bowl either so that's a real a bonus.

The curse of being called Simon when at a children's birthday party - I am immediately rolled out for the obligatory game of 'Simon says'.

Of course I take it easy to start with and filter out those that can't keep up. After separating the wheat from the chaff, we get to the hard core pros who know their stuff.

I finally kill them all off with the old stand on one leg, close one eye and stick out your tongue. The remaining kids think I'm taking it too seriously, get bored and run off leaving me looking like a proper tool.

I might have taken competitive dadding too far- they're only 6 after all, oh well. Cooking with the family is important so that they get an early interest in what healthy eating is all about.

But when you add two 10 month work experience kitchen hands to the mix who have minimum training and hygiene standards that would get a greasy kebab placed closed down, Jamie Olivers 15 minutes meals turn into Simon hooper's 90 minute botch jobs.

In the end you just chuck it all in and hope for the best. The likelihood is that it will get rejected by the discerning clientele anyway.

Might as well just short cut the whole process and chuck the raw food directly into the bin. Love all of your pictures I have all boys but much of the same.

My twins are now bigger and along with the older one they are into everything. Kiddos dad for the sense of humor. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app.

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It is really funny and definitively positive message comparing to all the baby pictures on the web. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app.

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Email Send Have an account? Alexandra Deabler is a Lifestyle writer and editor for Fox News. Fun stories about food, relationships, the great outdoors and more.

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Dad teaches daughter porn

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Not your original work? Add source. Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Born and raised in Lithuania, currently live in Cedar Lake, Indiana.

I am one of them, that's why I decided to show how my days with kids look like :. You don't see anything wrong? That doesn't mean it isn't wrong- just that you haven't studied into went to stop breast feeding properly.

Taking the pictures. I wouldn't let in a total stranger to take any of those pictures especially with bare bottoms and going to the potty.

If you are okay with showing the world photos of you going to the potty, etc. And who said the photographer has to be a stranger if not the dads which it wasn't , it may be a friend.

Smells like s. Some of us are busy working our arses off for over 24 hourams a dat to put a roof over our wives and children's heads.

Just sayin dude My husband's job is super stressful. I don't mind if he comes home and relaxes. I don't know why women think it's the "s". It's a partnership.

If they can't understand that then kids were probably not the best option. I'm thinking abt that too : And I'm not old enough to not have the 'you will one day want kids' reply every.

Random Panda - Show me on the doll where it hurts you that I don't have kids. Parents are the arrogant ones anyway.

Trust those of us who know - YOU are the only one who thinks your kids are cute. Not everyone should have kids,and it is good you recognise this.

The worst thing in tge world is when a selfish,ignorant,immature fool has a child by accident,and then tye child pays the price and later society.

The world thanks you for not unleashing more of your dna and creating more people like yourself. You made the right choice,and we thank you.

Why so bitter? If you feel that strongly about not having something, you may want to think about root causes rather than boast about it on the Internet.

Reinforcing that i agree with you. The world needs less trolls,and pathetic selfish people like yourself.

The world thanks you for not contaminating society with more of your DNA. If only your parents had felt the same about having you, what a better place this world would be.

Jealous, much? I don't give a rat's behind if you DO have kids, and quite frankly, when I see kids running amok in a store, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I don't have to take them home. This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I respect your choice to not have kids, but maybe you can also respect other people and not insult their intelligence over something this natural.

It doesn't make you look all that smart. Pretty sure they meant it was the smart choice for them and not insulting those who decided to have children.

No need to sound all petty and take it so personally. No one's insulting anyone here. Maybe stop being so sensitive and arrogant. You are not better than anyone else because you squeezed a kid out of your hoohaa.

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This is why women still losing to men even in this century. And the irony part is, women think they have won it. This comment is hidden.

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